Burnout is Sacred Redirection

For the longest time working as a nurse, I didn’t realize that I was burnt out. For the years leading up to nursing school and even in nursing school, I was so looking forward to becoming a nurse and NP — at one time, it was my dream. When I finally entered the workforce, I loved my job and working with patients. Slowly but surely though, things shifted.

The stress of the busy clinic, difficult patients, challenging staff dynamics, harassment, and workplace violence took its toll. I started to feel consistently tired, and it worsened to the point where I had zero energy to even cook dinner. I began dreading going to work in the morning, and felt emotionally exhausted constantly. As far as relationships went, I had nothing left to give to my loved ones. And, I thought this was totally normal. All the nurses I knew seemed to be in the same boat — it felt as if going into nursing, we had unconsciously agreed to sacrifice ourselves for the wellbeing of others.

What I can see now is that there’s an unspoken expectation, from the healthcare system and pervasive amongst its workers, that its providers, especially nurses, should put the patient (and therefore, the work) above all else. The work is prioritized at the expense of the providers themselves- their mental health, life force energy, and physical wellbeing. How can we truly help patients, if we, ourselves, are not well? Plus, with demands to serve a significant amount of patients per shift, chart copiously, and do it all while providing excellent care, it’s no wonder that burnout in astronomical in healthcare.

Things got worse and worse for me mentally & emotionally, yet I still stayed. I started to develop physical symptoms, like severe joint pain, worsened migraines, & more. I knew things were getting bad, but still, I rationalized many reasons why I shouldn’t leave — the pay was great, other places are worse, I could choose my schedule, I liked some parts of the job. And the biggest one: I thought that I couldn’t possibly do any better. This was a lie, of course, but one that so many of us fall into.

What really woke me up was when I started to notice myself feeling jaded about patients’ concerns- this was the huge red flag I needed. My indifference due to exhaustion terrified me, because I knew that wasn’t my true nature. I became a nurse because I cared for people. I could stomach the physical and emotional exhaustion, and the bodily pain, but this internal shift was alarming. This is what led me to finally quitting the job, and seeking work that gave me the balance that I craved. It was the first step in prioritizing my wellbeing and happiness.

I’m grateful for burnout because it provided me with the sacred redirection that I desperately needed. It allowed me to see what was not working in my life and helped me find a new, aligned, and joyful path forward. It started me on the long road to where I am now, doing work I love as an energy medicine practitioner. This experience also inspired me to create my first workshop. I share my story in the hopes that it reaches someone who needs to hear that they are not alone, that they are not weak for burning out, and in fact, getting to a place of burnout is really a blessing in disguise.